You know those nightmares you get as a kid? The ones in which you stand up in school at the request of the teacher, only to realize that you’re still in your pajamas? Or the one where you’re walking in the snow and you suddenly notice that you aren’t wearing shoes?
Today was my living nightmare…
It was my fault, really, because I always make sure that I get my clothes ready the night before. But I was busy last night, and I thought that I’d just wake up a bit earlier and pick out the wardrobe then. So what if I had a huge presentation to give at work today. Who cares if I was going to stand in the board room in front of my manager, her manager, and her manager’s manager. I could get it all ready in the morning.
The problem is that in the morning, I realized that half my clothes were in the hamper (Thursday is laundry day, after all). The other half of my clothes were just not acceptable. Not professional enough. Not the right color. Too cutesy. (Too cutesy just won’t do when you’re trying to give a serious presentation about financial trendings and predictions. I’ll never know how Reese Witherspoon pulled it off in Legally Blonde. Even I couldn’t handle that much pink).
I finally settled on a gray and black sweater that was only minorly affected by my husband’s tossing it into the drier. The sleeves were the only parts that shrunk, and I could roll those up. Problem solved, case closed, ready to get on with my day. And not a moment too soon, because it was now 7:30 am. Only I looked down at the rest of me and realized that I was still sporting black-and-gray-plaid pajama bottoms. To give me credit, I did match. But this wouldn’t pass, even for casual Friday.
**Insert soundtrack to Chariots of Fire here**
So I raced back up the stairs, two cats at my heels. Clothes flew. Doors slammed. Hangers were thrown into corners. I quickly changed into a more appropriate work attire, ran back downstairs, threw on my coat, pulled off the zipper from my shoe…
I just sat there for a moment. Stunned. My shoe in one hand and the zipper in my other. Pondering. How did I not notice that the zipper was falling off? Wondering. Can you use personal time and call out of work if you don’t have any shoes to wear? Feeling frustrated. Why can’t I be like all the other normal girls and have oodles and oodles of shoes to pick from? I mean, who else has only one pair of black shoes to wear to work? (Please tell me that there is someone else out there, so that I feel slightly better).
Anyway, to make a long story short, there are many uses for safety pins and keeping your shoes together is one of them.
After yelling upstairs to the hubby that I was going shoe-shopping this weekend, I skipped out the door, drove to work, turned on my computer, and read the email from my manager.
“All presentations cancelled until further notice, due to month-end time constraints.”
I was actually disappointed.