I’m a good girl, I am…

I’ve pretty much always been labeled a good girl….  I’m sure that’s mostly thanks to my Christian upbringing, but also partly due to my personality, my love for anything pink, and maybe even the small collection of pearls I wear on special occasions.

I mean, after all, I’m sure that if I were to prefer much darker colors and long, pointy spikes instead, my label would be something different.

I’ll bet it would even help if I wiped the large goofy grin off my face and stopped posing for pictures when shopping for Mother’s Day presents.  (That pic was taken with my fuzzy, old camera. See the difference?)

Yep, that would probably help too.

Here’s the deal…  I like who I am.  I’m not perfect by a long shot, but I definitely try to be a friendly and outgoing and just an all-around good girl.

So why in the world did it bother me so much when — the other day — a girl said to me, “You are such a good girl.”

Maybe it was her tone?  Maybe it was because she was being sarcastic, and I realized that the term ‘good girl’ was being used in a negative light.  Maybe it was because I didn’t want to be on the outside looking in and if being a ‘good girl’ was the issue, then maybe I shouldn’t be so ‘good’?

Maybe it was because she added, “You really need to get out there and live a little.”

Funny, isn’t it?  How one person’s tone can make you think that maybe being good isn’t so grand after all?  Because in reality, this society associates being a good girl with not having a back bone.  With being prude and secluded and maybe even being shy.

Another funny thing is that this girl has lived in town her entire life, while I have actually traveled and lived out of state.  But apparently I’m the one who has to start living and experiencing things?

I can tell you that I’m not any of those things that she seemed to think I was.  I talk too much, and have experienced so much, and certainly don’t blush at the drop of a hat.  Just because I choose not to swear or to go out drinking every weekend doesn’t mean that I don’t have guts and even maybe a bit of a sassy attitude.  ;)  It doesn’t mean I haven’t lived.

I’m just me.  And if that makes some people think less of me, then so be it.  If who I am causes people to make judgement calls that causes them tothinkthey know who I am, then that is their loss.  Because there is SO much more to this girl than just a smiley face and the color pink!!  :)

Has anyone ever judged you by your appearance?  Have you ever been called a ‘good girl’ and not liked it, even if maybe being good is what you’re striving for?

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15 Responses to I’m a good girl, I am…

  1. Just be yourself Nicole!

  2. samanthaangela says:

    I went to a party a few weeks ago for an acquiantance of mine. She’s a bit crazier than I am and her friends (who I just met that night) are even more wild. We played ‘never have I ever’, you know the drinking game where you say something crazy that you’ve never done in your life and people drink if they have done it? I didn’t drink once. And it was weird because so many things that I originally would have thought people don’t really truly do in real life these girls were doing! And it was as if their behaviour was the norm. I felt like I was in the twilight zone.

    One of the girls said something to me later about having a “sheltered life”. So maybe I haven’t done a lot of crazy things, but I’m happy with that. I made a lot of really good choices in my life and I’m a good person as a result. What’s so wrong with that?

    • Nicole says:

      You go, girl! That’s so true! It’s strange how sometimes making the right choices can cause others to call you ‘sheltered’. You should be proud of the choices you’ve made! And besides, I read your blog and you are totally feisty, and brave, and you totally get out there and live life. You don’t need to do ‘certain things’ to have lived or experienced life. Like you said, what’s so wrong with the smart choices you’ve made? Absolutely nothing!

  3. mellygee911 says:

    Absolutely! But I put them in their place when I made a point of clarifying that, yes! I do like to go out!….. Just not with you ;)

    That cleared things up pretty fast!

  4. Bea says:

    This was a really thoughtful blog. I’m glad in the end you didn’t let those comments bother you. Sometimes people tell me that I am too “nice” and I don’t know how to respond. I’m not a pushover, but I don’t find the need to be “mean” either.
    People should just stop judging others. It seems like women are either “prudes” or too “loose” and those are crappy categories!

    • Nicole says:

      You should be proud for having been called ‘too nice’. I’m proud of you! I think it’s awesome and don’t change yourself because of those comments! :) You’re right… You can be nice without being a pushover!!

  5. Oh my goodness, yes! Timely post…I’ve been feeling some frustration about this lately. To top it off, in my case I’m a blond, so I look even younger than I am.People seem to think I’m a goody two shoes. My least favorite “flavor” of this is when people want to flaunt their sexual exploits, and look down on me because I’m monogamously married! :(

    • Nicole says:

      I can relate to the hair causing issues. I have curly hair and it makes me look younger than I am too. So I definitely can relate to that! Ha, ha. I definitely have also been criticized for not having sexual exploits as well. I hear you!! But you don’t need to test the waters, like so many people say. I think you and I are proof! :) You should totally be proud of yourself and your choices!

  6. Meg says:

    Oh I am so glad that you shared this. Because I tend to have a carefree personality, am a little airheaded sometimes and a little klutzy, I’ve been teased forever about being a dumb blonde. And I will admit, sometimes I’d ham it up because, who doesn’t like to be funny? However older I get, the less I hear it. I think when people say comments like that, it really reflects their (lack of) maturity.

    I am definitely a good girl! I never partied/was promiscuous or got in trouble of any kind in high school. Today, I don’t drink and (try not to) swear, I go go church, I have a pretty chill life. While I don’t think it’s my place to judge anyone’s choices, I’m happy with mine and that’s what matters.

  7. I too have been “accused” of being a good girl. It’s funny how I used to wear that title with shame, as if it made me something less than desirable. Boring. A stick in the mud.

    This post was such a breath of fresh air. :D

  8. jelillie says:

    Guys thankfully don’t get called “Good girl” That would just be creepy. But I had a co-worker who used to call me “Church boy” and “Holy Joe” and for a while it got my goat. Then she quit, to my relief. A few years later I saw her and she had become a “good girl” and apologized for making fun of my Christianity!

  9. Gina says:

    Yes! I am short (just under five feet), and this always seems to make people think I am (a) younger, (b) a pushover, and (c) nice. With the exception of (b), this might not seem like a big deal, but it’s really frustrating for me because it seems like I always need to “prove” myself, and I just don’t have the energy for that.

    Wow. Who knew I needed to vent? Great topic.

    And, I agree with the first comment. You are great, so just keeping being you!!

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