Life is an endless stream of change. I kind of like to compare it to New England weather. If you don’t like the way things are going, just wait a day and it’ll be completely different. And people handle this change differently. There are the people who embrace the change. And then there are the people who try to ignore change… and focus on changing everyone else’s lives, because that’s more fun. 🙂
And so comes a life lesson. You can’t let people push and pull you in all different directions. You need to know where you’re going or at least trust that God will lead you there.
Now I was naive when Nate and I got married, because I thought that our marriage would satisfy people for awhile. For the four years Nate and I dated, we had our own little fan club who seemed to be placing bets as to when he’d ‘finally’ propose. I heard everything from “do you think he’s afraid of commitment” to “you need to encourage him because your clock is ticking.” I didn’t ever admit that I was the ‘problem’ and that I had told Nate I wanted to graduate from college and get settled into a job before we even thought about marriage. Most of the fan club members were older women and older women tend to like Nate a lot. I figured they’d be easier on Nate than me.
But the time finally came, and we had our beautiful wedding. And I think we both kind of sighed in relief that the big moment had passed and now we could enjoy a quiet life together.
That lasted for the honeymoon. Then we came back to reality.
I now know that people don’t want to rush you into marriage because they want to see you together for always, or because they want you to have them over for dinner once a month, or even because they love weddings. No, they want to rush you into marriage for one thing — babies. They want babies. It has absolutely nothing to do with you. Period.
Now Nate and I have decided to wait a few years before having kids, for several reasons. And people are just down-right frustrated. I mean, we made them wait four years for a wedding. Now we’re making them wait years before giving them babies?!? How selfish could a young couple be? It’s like we think our lives revolve around us or something.
And so our ‘fan club’ likes to remind us that they had about seven kids by the time they were our age. And that we’ll be old exhausted parents if we wait too long. And that my eggs are all dying (which makes me kind of miss the ‘your clock is ticking’ comment).
And heaven forbid I get sick. Because while I’m sitting in the bathroom next to the toilet, ready to lose all dignity and self-respect, everyone present is having a mini party and planning out a baby shower. I’ve learned that the flu is off-limits if I’m at a family event or a church function. If I absolutely cannot fight it, then I scream ‘migraine’ and run for the car.
I can’t even admit I’m sick when I’m home. Nate is getting paranoid.
Just the other day, I told him I felt nauseous.
“Are you pregnant?” he asked, his eyes wide.
“No, are you?” I asked.
That settled that question. (And as we burst into laughter, it just proved that laughter — and a positive outlook — really is the best way to go about things). 🙂
Such are the joys of being a young couple who has been married for just about two years. 🙂 We’re learning to make decisions as a couple and to stick with them. And the good news is that when our time does come, we’ll have plenty of baby-sitters. 😉