Recently, I had a routine physical, and my doctor instructed me to go to the hospital lab and to have my cholesterol and glucose levels tested. Apparently, my physician feels that it’s important to catch problems early on, which I can’t argue with. So I obediently took the paperwork, set it on the kitchen table, and the forgot about it for a day… and a week… and then a month.
Okay, maybe for more than a month…
As a result, in yesterday’s mail, I received a second request, which was just a tad bit more demanding than the first. Or maybe it was my guilty conscience kicking into over-drive. I mean, even her “Please follow through as soon as possible” seemed to be shouting at me. My first instinct was to flip it over and to put a book on top of it, for good measure. Out of sight, out of mind sort of thing. But then, that wouldn’t be the adult thing to do, I imagine. It’s not like I can play peek-a-boo with the lab orders and that they’ll disappear if I just can’t see them.
I am twenty-seven years old, after all. I am woman. I am confident. I can handle a simple blood test.
Wait, what? I have to fast for a cholesterol test?
I was instructed that the easiest way of handling this is to just go first thing in the morning. That way, the majority of the fast will be dealt with while I’m sleeping. So I counted out the hours and decided that as long as I didn’t eat past 8pm last night, I’d be fine to go for the lab test this morning. No big deal.
But this, my friends, is when I discovered that I would be a failure at dieting.
I rarely eat past 8pm on any given night. But just knowing that I couldn’t have food made me crave it. Want it. Need it. And I wasn’t even drooling over chocolate, or icecream, or cookies. No, I totally would have settled for oatmeal. Or cereal. Even the carrots looked strangely appealing.
I couldn’t focus on anything else. I felt bored, as though I should be eating. Nothing else I tried to do helped. I was reading Shopaholic Ties the Knot and came to the part where she picks out her cake. I turned on the television, just in time to see a Cake Boss rerun. Even the cats were eating more than normal. Everything around me taunted me, and I could only have water. (I am allowed to have water before a cholesterol test, right? Please say ‘yes’ because I don’t want to be turned away when I walk into the lab. Ugh, then I’d have to do this all over again!). 😉
And don’t get me started on having to skip breakfast. It’s my favorite meal of the day. My Friday just won’t be the same without it…. (Okay, honestly, I’m packing breakfast to go and will be munching on it the minute I set foot outside the lab doors!).
This is only proof that diets — as apposed to a healthy-lifestyle — don’t work. If you can’t have it, you’ll want it.
Don’t believe me? Just get your cholesterol tested… And don’t say I didn’t warn you! 😉
Are you good at going for preventative screenings? How are you when it comes to needles?
Happy Friday, by the way!!! 🙂