I Just Want Some Food, Please!

Recently, I had a routine physical, and my doctor instructed me to go to the hospital lab and to have my cholesterol and glucose levels tested.  Apparently, my physician feels that it’s important to catch problems early on, which I can’t argue with.  So I obediently took the paperwork, set it on the kitchen table, and the forgot about it for a day… and a week… and then a month. 

Okay, maybe for more than a month…

As a result, in yesterday’s mail, I received a second request, which was just a tad bit more demanding than the first.  Or maybe it was my guilty conscience kicking into over-drive.  I mean, even her “Please follow through as soon as possible” seemed to be shouting at me.  My first instinct was to flip it over and to put a book on top of it, for good measure.  Out of sight, out of mind sort of thing.  But then, that wouldn’t be the adult thing to do, I imagine.  It’s not like I can play peek-a-boo with the lab orders and that they’ll disappear if I just can’t see them. 

 I am twenty-seven years old, after all.  I am woman.  I am confident.  I can handle a simple blood test.

Wait, what?  I have to fast for a cholesterol test?

I was instructed that the easiest way of handling this is to just go first thing in the morning. That way, the majority of the fast will be dealt with while I’m sleeping.  So I counted out the hours and decided that as long as I didn’t eat past 8pm last night, I’d be fine to go for the lab test this morning.  No big deal. 

But this, my friends, is when I discovered that I would be a failure at dieting.

I rarely eat past 8pm on any given night.  But just knowing that I couldn’t have food made me crave it. Want it. Need it.  And I wasn’t even drooling over chocolate, or icecream, or cookies.  No, I totally would have settled for oatmeal. Or cereal.  Even the carrots looked strangely appealing.

I couldn’t focus on anything else.  I felt bored, as though I should be eating.  Nothing else I tried to do helped.  I was reading Shopaholic Ties the Knot and came to the part where she picks out her cake.  I turned on the television, just in time to see a Cake Boss rerun.  Even the cats were eating more than normal. Everything around me taunted me, and I could only have water.  (I am allowed to have water before a cholesterol test, right?  Please say ‘yes’ because I don’t want to be turned away when I walk into the lab. Ugh, then I’d have to do this all over again!).  😉

And don’t get me started on having to skip breakfast.  It’s my favorite meal of the day.  My Friday just won’t be the same without it….  (Okay, honestly, I’m packing breakfast to go and will be munching on it the minute I set foot outside the lab doors!). 

This is only proof that diets — as apposed to a healthy-lifestyle — don’t work.  If you can’t have it, you’ll want it. 

Don’t believe me?  Just get your cholesterol tested…  And don’t say I didn’t warn you!  😉

Are you good at going for preventative screenings?  How are you when it comes to needles? 

Happy Friday, by the way!!!  🙂

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15 Responses to I Just Want Some Food, Please!

  1. leonabriggs says:

    Thanks for making me laugh this morning!
    I am diligent at going in for my yearly screenings–when you become AWOACA (a woman of a certain age :-)), it becomes a necessity!

  2. Krista says:

    Oh…I hear ya on the fasting thing. It’s so hard to fast for tests! I always get cravings whenever I have to fast, even within an hour of the fast beginning, when I’ve just eaten…

    Hope your tests went well! 🙂

  3. love1025 says:

    um just hearing or seeing the word needle makes me woozyyy. I take valum every single time I am coming in contact with a doctor–and if I don’t I become a maniac (just ask my MIL who heard me screaming to the top of my lungs as I had no valum and a needle was coming right at me). so yea, i hate needles!

  4. Hayley says:

    It always works like that, doesn’t it? The second you tell yourself you can’t have something, you feel deprived and suddenly you are craving it. That is why switching from a dieting mindset to an intuitive eating mindset works for so many people!

    Also, I just have to add that cholesterol tests are pretty inaccurate anyway, fast or no fast. They can be skewed by many factors (like what your regular every day diet looks like). But hopefully yours comes back normal so that you don’t have to worry either way.

  5. livvy30 says:

    You’ve just reminded me I’ll have to go for mine soon! I have them twice a year in March andSeptember, but because I refuse to take a day off to have a blood test, I have to fast from 8pm til 430pm. I’m always starving when I come out of the hospital. I would be so rubbish on a diet!

  6. vixter2010 says:

    I would be the same – I need regular food or I get cranky 🙂 Hope the test goes okay and make sure you have a big feast afterwards!

  7. allieksmith says:

    I hate fasting! I had a big surgery and had to fast .. it was rough haha but I made sure I had a big meal the night before ;o) This post seriously made me laugh!!

  8. undividing says:

    I totally feel ya! They did a glucose test on me while I was pregnant, and I couldn’t believe that they would ask a VERY PREGNANT woman to FAST! I did my test in the morning, just like you did, and it actually went much better than I was expecting, but man, was I hungry after!!!

  9. Not only I HATE doing blood-tests (I’m such a baby… I have to have Mom or Dad – or both – with me, by my side, holding my hand. Which doesn’t prevent me from fainting and crying) because of the needles (they freak me out!), but I usually have the same “food crave”. It’s like when people say “don’t laugh!” and then you can’t stop yourself… you just HAVE TO laugh.
    Go figure, haha.
    Oh, and apparently water isn’t allowed… or at least that’s what Grandma and Dad said. When I asked Mom she told me to google it. Haha!
    Hope everything went fine, though. Was it too bad?

  10. Oh girl, I hear ya! I never want something until I suddenly am no longer allowed to have it! 😉

  11. sarahnsh says:

    I don’t know, I have never been a big breakfest person, call me crazy if you like. It’s just whenever I eat breakfest I tend to feel pretty bad with my stomach and uneasy with it lots of times. It gets upset really easily, and seems to be ticked off at me for eating before 12 noon. I totally agree with you, diets don’t work, hopefully you can be done with your blood work and not have to worry about it for another year!

  12. That is so weird. They never even asked me to fast for my cholesterol screening!

    Anyways, I totally hear you. Whenever I tell myself I *can’t* eat something, I want it. Really, really bad. It’s not a pretty thing. 😀

  13. tknologlvr says:

    The worst part is when the cholesterol level is too high and you can’t eat certain foods!

  14. tknologlvr says:

    Great picture, BTW!

  15. Pingback: Seven Years is a Long Time to Wait « Simple Moments – Living Life to the Fullest

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