The temps are supposed to cool down a bit today, so that’s good news. I think the heat was driving me a tad bit crazy. So crazy that I offered to bake a pie to bring to the in-laws, who we are visiting this evening.
Have you ever baked a pie in 90 degree temps? It’s not pretty. (And just to make sure it’s clear, by ‘it’ I mean me).
But on the flip side, it’s not snowing. So this is as close to a complaint as I shall come. 😉
Anyway, this was not what I was going to write about on today’s blog. Apparently, the heat is so intense that I can hardly think about anything else.
…. except for something that has been weighing on my heart.
I’m a perfectionist. I’m not ashamed to admit it, although I’m beginning to realize that I don’t always handle imperfect situations with the calm attitude I should.
After all, I don’t control the outcome of every situation. More often than not, I don’t have control over anything, so all I can do is give my best effort and be happy with that. But as easy as it is for me to sit here and tell you all to be happy with your best shot, I have a hard time accepting that this also applies to me.
I feel as though my best effort should result in perfection. Should result in a finished product that deserves recognition. That proves — beyond a shadow of a doubt — that I took things seriously and no one could have done it better.
I’ve been struggling with this at the office lately, because between vacation and sick time, I’ve fallen behind on the workload. And I’m concerned that my ‘Best Employee’ status (which doesn’t exist anywhere but in my head) will be tarnished. Mostly, I’m concerned that management will begin to question just how hard of a worker I really am.
This bothers me so much that I woke up in a panic this morning and thought about everything I needed to accomplish, and get done, and prove before the day was over.
And honestly, I doubt I’m the only one out there going through this. We live in a fast-paced world. It’s hard to keep up and there are things trying to pull us under. All the while, we’re trying to make our careers or volunteering or even blogging appear like they’re top priority.
It’s not easy. And there’s always the fear that people will view a lapse in perfection as a mediocre attempt at what needs to get done.
But this morning, as I was about to have that panic attack, I suddenly felt this peace. And the scripture, “Be still and know that I am God” came to my head.
So I allowed myself to be still. And I was reminded that there is Someone who knows my efforts. Who has me at this job for a reason. And Who will never criticize my efforts or tell me that they’re not good enough, because He can see through the actions to my heart. To who I really am.
It’s a relief to know that. Calming. Because we all want someone in our lives who really knows us. Who knows every situation we’re dealing with and every job we’re trying to juggle. And who not only sees every attempt we make to do our best, but who can also guide us to do even better where it counts.
Who loves us no matter what.
So today, when I go to work, I’ll honestly just do my best with the best possible attitude for the One I ultimately work for. 🙂
It’s all I can do. And it’s enough.